The Three Kinds of Online College Instructors

1. The Gentle Guide. These are the wonderful kind. They are organized. They are specific in their requirements and instructions, gentle -- yet firm.

The angelic species of The Gentle Guide consider student budgets when choosing their texts (without compromising quality). Above all The Gentle Guide knows their terrain. They know their stuff and teach it to you effortlessly with joyous, contagious enthusiasm. They transmit the love of knowledge, making you anxious to learn more. When you meet this type of instructor you know it almost immediately. Their aura oozes out onto the net and touches you. You love them and they love you.

2. The Harried Hassler. These are the mediocre bumblers who are coasting on tenure. They give the semblance of being organized, yet leave out important details. Their syllabus is complete, but unclear, and leaves you feeling nervous. They are always behind in their grading and you have to keep an eye on them to make sure they give you credit for your work.

You get the nagging feeling that their real world students

3. The Loathsome Loader. Danger! This type of online college instructor is deadly poisonous. Keep your hands and feet in the vehicle at all times! These are the instructors who palpably despise their jobs. They are burnt out and fed up.

Their syllabus is written in disappearing ink. They switch textbooks the first week of class to the 'updated $700 version'. (It has an all new, completely useless CD attached to the cover -- which of course you will never, never use.) They don't choose favorites because they never come online to class. Their class runs completely and crazily on autopilot. They do, however, glibly assign you every question in the book, plus twenty-one special projects, due before Wednesday, or else! No exceptions! Of the three kinds of online college instructors, none exceed The Loathsome Loader in heft and weight of sheer, unadulterated work. (That is why they are called Loaders.)

They load you down with grueling, gruesome busy work (badly graded by other class members). Their gradebook is incomprehensible and wrong. You have gotten Anne's grade and she has gotten Courtney's. Who has gotten yours? Not you! They answer email promptly, but never seem to answer the question you asked. In fact, you discover they've simply subscribed you to an autoresponder. You'll know immediately when you meet The Loathsome Loader. Danger! Bounce out of that class, asap.